Back to school
Written by Ben Tallon
I was at a design festival in one of my dreams. I was panicking about whether legging off for a pain au chocolate and a coffee would cost me my front row spot. I threw my coat and bag on the seat and went for it. As I wove my way through the crowd after the first talk, two men were screaming at each other about how skint they both were – a game of one-upmanship. One got truly horrible and silenced the other. It feels unnecessary to detail what he said here (it was brutal), but this dream chased one in which bombs were involved.
Today is the last day of my Christmas holiday break and doesn’t my unconscious mind know it?!
Today I’m cleaning the studio – well, after this procrastination piece – and I’m trying to answer a few big questions in my head.
Strategy.
I’ve written two business plans in my time. One to get a grant, the other while running Quenched Music in Manchester after we accepted some help from a business student who loved music and needed some experience. I looked at neither after they were completed. This isn’t arrogance, but an illustration of the kind of brain I have. I often wonder whether there’s some neurodivergence at play, but it doesn’t feel significant enough to chase a diagnosis.
I’ve never missed paying my tax, never missed a deadline, and been a full-time illustrator (with add-ons – writing, original art, podcasting, art direction) for 17 years. The trouble is, I’m so bloody-minded about creativity that I chase the next exciting thing that moves into my mind like a dog on a frosty morning after the first thrown ball. This hasn’t led me wildly astray – I’m very comfortable with the unknown, and like to see how things unfold when I heed my instincts. But now, at 41, I’ve arrived at a junction from which, with a little strategy I could really help myself.
Since I stumbled into interviewing people in 2010, when I asked if I could write up a great conversation with Don Letts for the Quenched Music blog, I’ve not stopped on what became a fascination with human creativity. Not art, but the broader ‘having ideas that have value.’ I’ll never stop, but as a pleasantly long Christmas break and years of self-initiated works of passion, I’ve found myself in a place where I have both an established brand and website for my work as a:
B) Creativity coach and founder of ‘The Creative Condition’
I did not know this is where I was going, but here I am. In love with all that I do, the author of my own life. Back on episode 211 of the podcast, Washington DC-based artist Chris Pyrate said to me, ‘I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m getting there.’
Well I’m here, and even with a monkey brain like mine, I can no longer hide from the fact that if I want to convert years of dog play into something that can financially sustain and illuminate this human, now I must make a plan and remember it exists after I’ve finished it.
Don’t get me wrong: I adore my mind and I’m totally at peace with the way I am, but that peace brings a certain clarity and ability to get out of my own way when I need to. That need is pressing!